A dirty little secret

I'm sure even the most seasoned gourmet has a dirty little secret like mine. That one comfort food that's too embarrassing to admit to. You make it in secret and wash up quickly in case someone pops by unexpectedly.

It took me almost six months of dating Cakes before I would admit to mine, afraid he'd be repulsed (he was), and afraid I'd sound weak trying to justify why I'd eat such a thing (I did). I am positive I prefaced the announcement by saying, "okay, this is going to sound gross, but trust me it's really not." Well, it's been almost 4 years since that revelation, and in the meantime Cakes married me, so it can't be too bad.

What's my dirty little secret? Cuisine Chinois. And believe me, despite the name, there's nothing even remotely "Cuisine" or "Chinois" about it really. It's a peculiarity of the Saguenay region of Quebec, which is Quebec's redneck armpit. It's thanks to my living in Saguenay in the summer of 1990 that what little French I have left can most properly be described as "farmer French". I still say "whaaayyy" instead of "oui".

But I digress.

Despite some very fine cheese that is produced in Saguenay (as well as some disgusting pickled eggs), Saguenay is (shockingly) not overly impressive culinarily-speaking. As a contributing member of the student newspaper at Universite du Quebec a Chicoutimi (affectionately called UQAC -  go on, say it aloud) I had the opportunity to write a rivetting piece on the food served at the school cafeteria. In addition to my review of the Tarte de Quelquechose Avec les Petits Choses Vert (something-or-other pie with little green things) I wrote about Cuisine Chinois.

Cafeteria food is never good, so I guess it's not surprising that Cuisine Chinois would make an appearance. However, this miracle of Saguenay gastronomy was also served at at least one local restaurant and also at the home of the family I stayed with, and that of a friend. It is clearly a regional dish.

(You're probably wondering right about now why it is I have not yet told you what exactly is Cuisine Chinois. There's a good reason. Shame.)

I remember precious little else about what I ate that summer. Probably due to all the pichets of Black Cat beer that I drank. I have a vague memory of zucchini on pizza somewhere in Quebec City (it was good). I was first introduced to carrot juice there. Of course I can't forget the Tarte de Quelquechose.

Then there's the Cuisine Chinois. Here's the most shameful part. I still make it at least once every 3 or 4 months. It's my dirty little comfort food secret. It features the two mandatory comfort food ingredients - carbs and salt - in spades. It's dead easy to make too.

Okay.

I can't avoid it any longer.

Cuisine Chinois

• cooked macaroni
• canola oil
• frozen peas
• cut up weiners
• pepper
• soy sauce

Stir fry the cooked macaroni in oil so it gets partly brown and crunchy. Add the weiners and peas and cook it a bit more. Sprinkle on the pepper and douse with soy sauce. Continue cooking until the mixture is no longer drippy and the macaroni has absorbed the soy sauce.

If you need me, I'll be at my therapist's office.

Comments

[Columbus Foodie]

Don't feel too embarassed. One of my favorite comfort food items is Kraft Mac & Cheese with Sauteed Onions and Peppers and Kielbasa. What you have up there is gourmet compared to that.

I've always thought that the thing that makes food delcious or not delicious is the emotions that it evokes as you eat it. If this dish reaches up and hugs you and makes you feel good, more power to you! :)

[Corey]

You rule!

Stop by sometime for bbq toasted marshmallows & beer.

Corey

[Lydia]

They say that confession is good for the soul, so here goes: Velveeta cheese (actually I think it has to be called "cheese food", because it's not real cheese), and anything with Miracle Whip. Oh dear.....

[Lins]

My comfort food is macaroni smothered with canned diced tomatoes (with all the juice), a little butter (or even margarine in a pinch) salt & pepper. Tastes even better after sitting in the fridge for a day or two.

I think this goes back to my grandmother? ...but I used to insist that I eat this when I was home sick from school. My mom eventually caved & it always did make me feel better. I can clearly remember eating this wrapped up in a blanket watching Sesame Street.

[Pam]

I thought that pic was La Mort Orange avec embellishments! :)

[Denzylle]

And even the peas look like they have been boiled for 20 minutes which, bien sure, is well in keeping with CC.

*Everyone* has dirty little secrets about food. I'm in the UK and one of the monthly food magazines here asked our top chefs for their secrets. The results were - er - enlightening.

Mine is Cup a Soups, but you have to combine two that kind of go together (like tomato with croutons, and mushroom) in one mug so that it's thick, and if you can get it to clump up a bit so that the powder doesn't all dissolve, all the better, 'cos then you have a tasty mush in the bottom of the mug when you have drunk all the 'liquid' soup.

At least your DLS had a recipe!

[Pecquie]

Actually I love that dish, the only thing is that I don't use weiner but ground beef... I swear it's actually pretty good!

[Stephanie]

And yet?

I'm not entirely repulsed by this.

I think I could eat it (with vegetarian dogs, of course), and I can totally see why it would qualify as 'comfort food' for you.

Yes, we all have our dirty little foodie secrets!

[ann]

whoa, Lins, I think we must be at least partially related.
My dirty little secret dish is elbow macaroni doused in butter and salsa with lots of salt & pepper
I too learned it from my grandmother who made it for me when I would get sick.
It is now my go too sick day dish. I adore its softness, and the way the butter and salsa form a silky, oozing emulsion of flavor and texture.

[Stephanie]

Cuisine Chinois looks very similar to Maine's American Chop Suey. You can imagine my confusion when I first moved here and discovered that it is marcaroni and ground beef in tomato sauce.

[Mihnea Boiangiu]

Your recipe looks good. I would try to make it these days.Thanks

[C-lo]

That's nothing....

That's nothing close to embarassing. Actually it looks really tasty...I'm asian... I'm filipino to be exact. ...

Comfort food for me is some steamed rice with a couple slices of fried spam and a fried egg on top. It may sound repulsive to any gourtmet hobbiest... But man its so good. I am sure Cusine Chinois tastes just as great. There's nothing wrong with it.

[Garth Wood]

Hmmmm.

Actually, this kinda reminds me of something the Hawaiians call a "plate lunch," 'cept that the macaroni would be supplemented (not replaced!) by the famous "two scoops rice." 'Course, plate lunches have evolved since WWII, so you can get 'em all different ways. And with spam. Don't forget the spam.

With CC, I'd probably replace the hot dogs with some actual factual sausages (say, a good Spolumbo's from Calgary). Other than that, I love almost anything with soy sauce in it (the dark mushroom kind from China), so this sounds good to me.

Try stir-frying plain ol' spaghetti or macaroni in a little butter and then adding soy sauce. Same as oriental fried noodles, really.

[pendlerpiken]

Bacon and canned corn fried together, served with pasta and any kind of cheese. Makes me feel a little perverted to tell anyone... :)

[superstarjo]

Ha ha, I know exactly what you're talking about when you say Cuisine Chinois. My fiancee is from Laval, and he makes a dish called Pate Chinois which is totally NOT Chinese at all, though he claims it is. It's more like Shepherd's Pie, but whatever!