Baby food

With the impending birth of our first child, and my bi-weekly gig as a restaurant reviewer for CBC, it suddenly dawned on me the other day that just popping out to a restaurant is not going to be as easy as it once was… I’ve been mulling this over for a week or so now. Seems like I’m not the only one.

Since food is obviously such a big part of my life, and my husband’s life, I can’t imagine not wanting to share that with the Bambino. I’d love for him to learn to enjoy a good meal and a pleasant eating experience. I am not inclined at all to limit what I eat while breastfeeding. I couldn’t imagine cutting garlic out of my diet! What would I eat? I doubt very much that the Thai, or Greek or Italian women do. Besides, how is Bambino going to get to appreciate all sorts of flavours unless he gets to try them from the start?

Despite these intentions to expose him to the wonderful world of flavours and textures, That doesn’t solve my restaurant dining dilemma. Of course I can feed him those things at home just as easily as at a restaurant, but I’d love for him to be able to experience all different kinds of dining.

I continually pray that he will be like the “easy baby” some of our friends had – they would just bring him along in his “baby bucket” and plonk him on the floor. He’d snooze all the way through dinner. Even when he got to be a toddler, he was introspective, sat quietly and ate a little of everything that mum and dad did. There was no screaming or running or throwing or tantrums.

Knowing my husband’s childhood history, and obviously my own, I have serious doubts that Bambino will be such an easy baby, even when he’s small. Colicky is the word that springs to mind. Other words are tornado, disaster, “shhhhhhh!”, “sorry, I’ll pay for that” and “I think we should leave….”.

I’ve never really had a firm opinion on the topic of kids in restaurants. In my mind the appropriateness varies with the type of restaurant, age and type of kid, and type of parenting. Without having met Bambino yet, I can’t really assess what factors 2 and 3 might turn out to be, so that kind of leaves me in the dark (except at the extreme casual end) of factor 1. Can you say “99 cent pasta at Ikea”?

While I agree that there is a certain calibre of high-end dining that children under the age of say 7 or 8 should not go to, and then only if dressed in a cute miniature shirt and tie. What about everything else? There’s a great deal of room between the Ikea cafeteria and the dining room at the Hardware Grill. If, by some stroke of luck, we do manage to have a well-behaved child, why shouldn’t I be able to bring him out for dinner?

Better yet, any parents out there have any tips for getting, shame-free, through a dining experience with children in tow? Is crying okay (baby or parent?)? How much crying? Breastfeeding? Wriggling? Ages 0 to 9 months but not 9 months to 2 years?

If you say I’m stuck with Swedish meatballs and Lingonberry sauce, I’ll cry.

Comments

[John]

Hi Lyn. Congrats! The truth is... some restaurants are kid-friendly and some aren't.
Our customers have been very accomodating to parents.

Advice? come early evening, mid-afternoon,
brunch. Come with toys! You and your baby deserve it.

[Ange]

Hi, Good Luck is all I can say! I have a 6 week old who is pretty good but I find this early she does not want to stay still while we eat so so far we have only ventured out for lunch or brunch & always sit outside where we can get up & do a quick walk down the street with the pram to quieten her down if she starts to cry! So my tip is to ease your bub into it as we have done

[Christopher Thrall]

Hi, Lyn - congrats on joining us toddler-toting foodies! I run the Dish section in Vue Weekly - I have since my first was six months old. She devours Greek, Thai, Ethiopian and Spanish with equal gusto! They'll eat off your plate until they're two or so.

You'll develop your own strategies, of course, but here are a few tips that I found work well.

1. Go early. Brunches are sometimes OK, but a 5:30 seating resolves a lot of crowd-density and booth-availability issues. Plus, the sprog likes eating early.
2. Bring diversions (this is more important as the child ages) - more places than you'd expect have the basic paper-menu-and-crayon offerings, but have a couple of toys and books on hand.
3. Tip well. (Like any of us need to be reminded of that.)

Breast feeding is perfectly fine, as is a quick trip outside to calm a particularly fussy moment. We try to be very aware of the people around us and not impinge on their dining pleasure.

However, as we ventured deeper into the terrible two's (and now, coming up, the nightmarish three's), we found our restaurant selection varying. An infant is fine in the carrier or a sling at the finest places (we took our second in her sling to the Sutton Place for Valentine's Day), but when they start walking, consider alternatives.

I find that small, family-run places (especially ethnic cuisine) are generally very welcoming. My favourites are Sit and Chat, Los Andes and Yeti Gourmet in Beaumont. Big box chains are always safe, if less interesting for foodies - go for East Side Mario's or Cheesecake Cafe.

The only ones to avoid are the fine dining or hot date vanues: I'd skip the Creperie, Culina and Characters until you know your offspring well enough to know their behaviour.

I can't wait to see how your reviewing changes after the arrival, Lyn. Enjoy every moment.

[junglegirl]

Wow, congratulations on your coming arrival! I've been reading your site and checking out the archives for a few months. I've got to pass on to you a site I've just found that you might like now that you will be parenting! It's so hilarious that I read it even though I have no plans for children. www.amalah.com. Enjoy!

[junglegirl]

Oh, also, if you don't already have one, a Vita-mix blender makes excellent homemade babyfood from anything in about 3 seconds and is the fastest cleanup for a kitchen utensil I've ever encountered.

[T MAh]

Hey we could get your food reviews on take out!!!

[Laurie]

Congrats!

We only have one 6 year old little girl but in my experience, if you start from when they are very young (ours was 4 days old for her first dining excursion), they will generally understand the expectations of eating out.

I was never one for breast feeding in public but you start to 'know' all of the restaurants in town. There was many a time that you could find me breastfeeding with a glass of wine in hand sitting in a big armchair in the bathroom at the downtown Joey's!

We certainly started to flock to certain restaurants, especially for weeknight dinners (we probably eat out 2 to 5 times a week depending on our schedules). Earls and Joey's were good, convenient options (we both work downtown) for a little one - the servers were absolutely marvelous! We actually kept in contact with many of them over time. For a while, our daughter was actually on the training program at Joey's! (Small, blonde curly haired little girl looooooves m&m's...) Tip REALLY well, write letters of commendation when it is deserved - it will pay off.

Always have a back up plan. NO crying allowed. It's just not fair to the other diners unless you are in a 'family' restaurant, which we almost never go to. We once took her to Characters when she was about 3 months - Grandma had to make an emergency pick up that time.

Now that she's 6, you'll regularly see us at Koutouki, Normands, Il Portico, Piccolino's... Number one rule - do not expect the restaurant to cater to your child. You must adapt your behaviour and your child's to the environment of the restaurant. You'll be pleasantly surprised at how wonderful a restaurant can be if you are not expecting it!

[Pam]

Hearty congratulations! Welcome to the boat. I'm quoted in that NP article, but I thought of you all the while. I have a 14 month old son. Quite a few months back we worked from your brunch list and tried to hit Rick'n'Alice's for some serious benny. No change table, no dice. Watch out! :)

Breast milk comes from your bloodstream, so anything that goes in there (caffeine, alcohol, the green from lettuce) can transfer. Never worry about "gassy foods" unless you're Ms Allergic already.

[Rachael]

A thousand congrats to you both! What wonderful news!

As for the food, just go to eat early. You dont even have to think about it really, since the logic will be that you will have to be home early anyway, right?

And read about nut allergies, peanuts in particular. While eating what you want makes total sense, its certainly easy enough to avoid things (high mercury fish?) that can cause troubles, right?

Best wishes, much love,
Rachael

[Smita]

Congratulations!!!

Oh - do take the baby everywhere! S/he will develop an adventurous palate! Fellow eaters will likely adore the little one. Some restaurants may be over stimulation for the baby - too much light and noise, especially if the baby is tired but other ones may be just right. Wonderful way to introduce new sights, sounds and faces. Just my two cents!

Smita

[May]

We're dealing with this right now with our 11 month old, and when we're in the mood to go out to eat, we always look for places with a lot of noise. It keeps baby entertained, and if baby should start to whine or cry, it blends in better with the atmosphere.

You'll know pretty quickly whether a place is kid-friendly or not.

[icepixyjewels]

Congratualations!
I'm about to have our first baby as well, and I recently read that eating garlic and other spicey foods while breastfeeding is not only just fine, but studies have shown that babies who's mother's eat more flavorful food seem to do better with breastfeeding. They tend to latch on better and eat more. Plus, garlic and peppers and things have wonderful health benefits that will nourish your baby. So I'd say go for it! Anything you can eat safely while pregnant, you can eat safely while nursing. And the studies also say that foods that might make the mother gassy have not been shown to affect the baby in this way.

[cathy]

I'm so glad to hear your great news!
Our second baby (now 13 yrs old)was born 3 days before our anniversary, and we took him with us that night to a nice French restaurant. Looking back, I can't believe our incredible luck: in my post partum fog, I wore a dress that would allow no access for breast feeding, but somehow the "little lamb" as a sweet lady at the restaurant called him, slept thru the entire meal!

That said, I would take advantage of the time when your babe is really little and unobtrusive and is still just nursing to get out and dine at nicer places. It gets a lot harder when they start being able to grab your spoons and forks!
We found that Chinese restaurants never seemed to have a problem with little kids.

[Laura]

Hey:

I just found your blog, and am a total foodie who loves reading food blogs. I think I agree with everything people have written, and this has been my experience:

1. How many kids you have matters. :) Eating out was pretty easy with one baby--now with a toddler and baby it is harder--not impossible, but harder.

2. Time of year matters--I wouldn't expose a young infant to world in the winter, so we did not eat out AT ALL with baby number 2, born in October, until March or so.

3. In the beginning (for us, we started around 2 months with our summer baby) we only ate out for lunch--many babies have a melt down in the evening, so learn to love lunches (and lazy brunches on the weekend). besides, they are easier on the wallet. My kids are almost always well behaved for any meal out before 3 pm. After 3 pm, I need to guage their moods.

4. ALWAYS bring food for your baby--bottle and/or crackers, depending on age. Sometimes the food just doesn't get there fast enough. Toys are a must as well.

5. Bo NOT use an upside down high chair as a snugride carrier holder--babies have died in those after being tipped over by waitstaff--if a restaurant is too small or crowded to place carrier on a booth seat or maybe on the floor, find a new restaurant. Some really nice restaurants have slings, designed especially to hold the carriers--those are pretty sweet.

6. Be optimistic--if dining out is important to you, just keep trying until you find out what works for your baby. It was important to me, and both of my kids go out to eat with us. Also be consistent, for example, my toddler knows she is expected to stay in the high chair until she is done eating--I am hopeful (she is 22 mos) this will translate to her not thinking she is allowed to run around the restaurant. We don't let her out of the high chair--not even when with grandparents who want to hold her.

7. I recommend one of those high chair covers--not for germs so much as for getting your baby into a high chair sooner than she would be able to without the cover, because the hard, straight wood. With a cover, your little one can slump a bit. Plus it allows you to carry a lot of crumbs outside and dump them--and yes leave big tips. :)

8. Last, and this has nothing to do with eating out, but you mentioned it in your post--feed your kid whatever you eat (at the appropriate ages) and do not automatically adjust what you eat while breastfeeding, unless the pediatrician says you need to (and find a pediatrician in line with your thinking). My ped is much more open minded about food than some of the other docs in his practice. You are absolutely right that breast feeding moms in other parts of the world eat garlic, just as you are right when you think they feed their babies onions and peppers. They do! And you can too, no matter how askance people look at you. And your reward will be a kid who eats what you eat, instead of having been trained to think that adult food is gross.

Have a wonderful pregnancy (yeah right :) ) and email me with any questions.

Laura

[nan]

Good luck! Our experience has been the following (many points have already been made by earlier commentators):

- It will depend upon the age and stage of your child. Younger babies are easier to take to restaurants because they like to sleep more and you can nurse under a blanket if you need to. Our 2 year old became more fussy and so we backed off going to as many restaurants. We were back in restaurants when she turned 3, but now that she is 4, we carry oodles of paper, pens, crayons, small toys, crafts, and we are selective of where we go.

- Our experience is to definitely go for early meals at restaurant with a young child - 4:30 to 5:00 works better than going at 6:00 p.m. We find the restaurant staff more receptive and service is faster.

- Don't try to spend a long time in a restaurant with a young child; try to aim for about an hour. This means that unless you have alternative childcare arrangements, a number of the fine dining restaurants generally don't work. Unless you are blessed with a child with an extraordinary ability to sit quietly in one place for more than an hour, resistance is futile.

- Depending on the personality of your child, be aware of the noise level in a number of the chain restaurants with loud music. Our daughter at 9 months had difficulty with the noise level at East Side Mario's, so we've never been back.

- I don't think you need to eliminate any food, unless an allergy shows up in the baby. I'm not sure where this idea came from, but you could check with someone from LaLeche League. I didn't eliminate much from my diet while I breastfed for over 2 years. The only thing I stopped eating, when my daughter was less than 6 months old, were Indian buffets, because I found my daughter became rather gassy and uncomfortable afterwards. But once she started solid foods, I resumed eating at the buffets. I ate copious amounts of garlic and onions and I never had any problems.

[Waz from Crash Test Kitchen]

One they are highchair size, you just keep feeding 'em tidbits throughout your restaurant meal. Don't use this for every meal at home as well, though, or your child will end up a chunky chumbawumba.

An apple is also a handy mealtime diversion for kiddies of sufficient dexterity ... it can take them up to two hours to get through one.

Hey Lyn, you seem to have tapered off in your use of Aussie-British vernacular in your posts. Not a criticism - I think the writing is the better for it.